2 things must happen to reach your goals. The first is the easy one, trying something new and taking calculated risks. The second one, the not so easy one, is letting go of your familiar place and the tools you have developed over many years that kept you where you are. Humans are incredible creatures of habit. Its the reason that you see so many people afraid to leave toxic relationships or unsatisfying jobs, they have become stuck in a place that allows them to use their preexisting/familiar tools. People trust their tools because they worked (functionally our not) in their current or past situations, but don't allow them to move forwards.
The crazy things is that people and companies often create environments that fit their tools and consequentially keep them stuck.
I call it the Tarzan moment in coaching. The magic moment when an individual or organization makes a conscious decision to get uncomfortable and vulnerable put their old tools aside while walking on a new path.
The only way to find a new direction is sometimes to allow yourself to be lost, not in control and willing to explore. You will never gain clarity or progress just by talking, thinking or strategizing, it is only in the doing that change occurs. Our tools are created through past experiences, most of which we did not choose to be in.
People and companies avoid conflict and confrontation like a disease, but they are the greatest and sometimes the only gateway to change.
Don't be afraid to change, especially if you know its what you need to do.
What is mindfulness?Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience.
You might find this useful if:
Why build mindfulness?There is a lot of evidence on the many benefits of mindfulness; it can:
Work Life Balance
For a lot of people, the pursuit of a healthy work/life balance seems like an impossible goal. With so many of us torn between juggling heavy workloads, managing relationships and family responsibilities, and squeezing in outside interests, it's no surprise that more than one in four Americans describe themselves as “super stressed.” And that’s not balanced—or healthy.
In our rush to “get it all done” at the office and at home, it’s easy to forget that as our stress levels spike, our productivity plummets. Stress can zap our concentration, make us irritable or depressed, and harm our personal and professional relationships.
Over time, stress also weakens our immune systems, and makes us susceptible to a variety of ailments from colds to backaches to heart disease. The newest research shows that chronic stress can actually double our risk of having a heart attack. That statistic alone is enough to raise your blood pressure!
While we all need a certain amount of stress to spur us on and help us perform at our best, the key to managing stress lies in that one magic word: balance. Not only is achieving a healthy work/life balance an attainable goal but workers and businesses alike see the rewards. When workers are balanced and happy, they are more productive, take fewer sick days, and are more likely to stay in their jobs.
Here are a few practical steps we can all take to loosen the grip that stress has on us and win back the balance in our lives. Read on and reap the benefits.
The language we use in everyday life both represents and impacts how we experience our world. We attempt to capture thoughts, ideas and to describe what we see around us using words. Inevitably, things get "lost in translation". We lose information through "Generalisations", "Deletion" of information and "Cognitive Distortion". Distortion is where some aspects of ideas and experiences are given more weight and focus than others. We all do this both consciously and unconsciously, and how we do this provides pointers to our underlying beliefs about ourselves, others and the world.
Here is a list of the Top 10 Cognitive Distortions:
Which of these do you do? Check the areas below that you might like to discuss with your Life Coach.
Have you ever looked at an object on a wall long enough and notice that everything surrounding it starts to disappear? This is a common experience that not only works with phisical objects buth with emotional states as well. When you become overly steeped in your problems or negativity, you easily start to lose focus on the things are NOT BROKEN, which is the majority of your life. Make sure to take some time away from your issues. This will allow you to fill up up your tank and approach your goals more easily and effectively later.
The only way to find new things in your life is to first be lost. Let yourself go to unfamiliar places and you will find new paths. This takes vulnerability and guts, but in the end you will have more choices.
The scariest part of a roller coaster ride is being next in line. It is at that very moment that you can still walk away. Similar to counseling, the scariest part is making the call and coming in for the first time. Once you have made the commitment to begin the process, it not only gets easier but can also become enjoyable. Always remember that everything you do today was unfamiliar and scary at one time before.
Most people call for counseling when they are feeling stuck. Things are neither moving in a positive or negative direction. It is at this very moment that 2 things must take place. You must be willing to let go of the thing that is keeping you stuck and at the same time put some faith into something completely unfamiliar. I like to use the metaphor of Tarzan. He swings in the jungle from vine to vine and at any given moment he is holding a vine in one hand that supported him and he trusted, while in the other hand, he is holding a vine he never held before and is unfamiliar with. The only way for him to continue his journey forwards is to let go of the one that got him to that place and trust that something he never held before will support him in his journey. People are tremendous creates of habit, both good and bad ones. Change will only come from letting go of habits that you have become experts at and allowing yourself to do things differently and unfamiliar. In essence, you must trust yourself and know that for change to take place, you cannot be an expert in something you never experienced before. You must also be willing to put shame and guilt aside as the people who taught you these old behaviors are either people you loved or were a part of your upbringing. Change can always happen, if you let it.
Over the past 12 months you have had time to think and feel quite a bit. This is the year to take some chances and listen to the answers you already have. This is not a year of fear based behavior. It is a year for you to trust yourself and take those leaps of faith that you already know you want/need to take.
Your life is filled with roles, relationships and expectations. If you were to cut all of those external ties the only thing left is your pure core. It is you not as a parent, son/daughter, parent, friend, employee, student, etc. This is the year to identify who you are outside of all of those ties and get familiar with your core. It will make all of the external ties that much more functional and enjoyable. Listen to your gut, it usually has the most unedited and true answer. Pay attention to it and follow it without editing yourself.